The ride

Biked home tonight at what I thought was a slow pace compared to yesterday, and yet somehow made it back in about 45 minutes as opposed to yesterday’s 55. Weird.

And now I am very hungry, so I’m going to find something to make for dinner.

Chilcotins Update

I have very nearly raised my fundraising goal for the Chilcotins trip. If you were thinking about sponsoring the trip but haven’t yet, there is still time to do so.

Just to make things extra interesting (or something) I’ll throw a curveball at the whole thing for you.

Adam, who has been training and planning and working towards this trip with me for many months now; who has lost nearly 30 lbs getting fit for this trip, who was looking forward to it for as long as we knew such a thing existed, is no longer able to go. That’s right folks, I’m now taking this trip sans husband.

Let’s go back a couple of weeks and see how this happened, shall we? Actually, wait – we need to go back about three years to really tell the whole story.

Just before we moved out here, Adam got hurt. Over time this developed into a nasty bacterial infection that doctors were unable to diagnose, or even pin down. There were days that he was in so much pain that he couldn’t work, days that we took him to emergency and spent 8 hours in the waiting rooms, days where he was sure he would never feel pain free again.

After nearly two years of going to doctor after doctor, one finally gave him a massive antibiotic prescription for six weeks. This finally got rid of the infection, and for the past year things have been good. He’s been getting healthy, losing weight, changing his diet for the better, and just generally feeling great.

A few weeks ago the infection slowly crept back into his system. He denied it for a while, thinking maybe it was just his imagination, but finally had to admit that something was wrong. He went to a new doctor, as the one who had given him antibiotics a year ago has moved out of our city, and got more tests done. The tests once again showed… absolutely nothing. Whatever this infection is, they don’t seem to have a name for it or tests that can actually find it. The doctor put him on antibiotics once more, a two-week dosage to get rid of the infection.

While he has the infection, he is in too much pain to be able to bike. While he’s on the antibiotic, his entire system is compromised, too much sunlight is very bad for him, if he’s active he might rupture a tendon, and he’s just generally in rough shape.

He’ll be on this antibiotic for another week and a half. He’s getting better, slowly, but not in time for the trip; and he can’t go on this trip unless he’s completely better. It’s in the backcountry – there is no way to get him out in a rush if something goes wrong. It’s not fair to ask the guide to be responsible for that, either.

So he’s very, very sad about this. I am sad on his behalf.

I am still going on this trip, although it may be more of a challenge for me without my usual cheerleader along. I will try extra hard to survive this trip on his behalf…

The past three weeks, since Adam’s been sick, my training regimen has suffered. I wasn’t biking while it was raining. I wasn’t going to the gym after work because I was tired, stressed, or taking care of Adam. This is all unfortunate.

This week, I shall bike as many days as I possibly can. Today I biked. It was good.

So I guess now I’m not just riding this trip to raise money for the Canadian Parks & Wilderness Society – now I’ve elevated it in my own mind to riding this trip for Adam, who can’t come with us anymore.

Spent time at Crankworx…

I spent the past two days in Whistler at Crankworx 2007 working at Ryan Leech’s tent while he did shows and signed autographs and stuff. Basically I was there to talk to people about the Nature Challenge and answer questions about the environment and stuff. Ryan was kind enough to hand out pamphlets and talk about the challenge on his cross Canada tour.

I had fun. I also too pictures. Here’s one of me and Ryan, even! (Okay, I didn’t take this one, but there are hardly ever pictures of me…)

Ryan Leech & JennyLee Silver

There are more here. I’ll post some in the journal later.

A couple of videos…

A pair songs that I really love, by the Grapes of Wrath. I was trying to learn the guitar tab for All the Things I Wasn’t tonight – it’s tough. I’m not that good. I’m figuring out Peace of Mind, though.

Auction for Tickets to Montreal’s Police Concert

We’re auctioning more Police Tickets – Sting gave the Foundation two more tickets to auction off as a fundraiser. These ones are for the Montreal, QC Police show on July 25th. They’re listed at $300 US for the pair. All money raised goes to the David Suzuki Foundation, and the buyer will get a tax receipt for the amount they pay for the tickets above the face value on them.

If I were wealthy and living near Montreal, I’d be all over these. I am neither. And really, I just think it’s cool that Sting gave us the tickets.

In other news, I’ll be representing the Foundation at Crankworx next week – hanging out in Ryan Leech‘s tent, to be specific, talking about the Nature Challenge to people wandering by. Ryan’s just returned from a cross Canada tour, and he’s been promoting the Nature Challenge throughout it. I’ve been working on this program a lot myself, actually, and I’m enjoying it. This is the first outreach sort of thing I’ve done for it, though – I’ve mostly been trying to update the web stuff.

Sometimes I’m just wired wrong

I want to pull out the guitar, but it’s too late. I’ll just listen to country/folk/acoustic songs and feel distant and weird. I want very much to be loud, but it’s too late. these are the days that living in an apartment building close to other people kind of sucks.

I think I’m feeling strange and lonely today. Adam’s incredibly stressed out over about a thousand different things, and hasn’t slept well in many weeks, and is just generally really needing me to be supportive and take care of him and stuff. I’m all for that, it’s what being in a relationship’s all about to me, but when it gets unbalanced to the extent that it has been lately, I just get exhausted and want rather desperately for someone to just take care of me for a bit, even if there’s nothing really all that wrong.

So yeah. I miss Tara, who would meet me for coffee when I started feeling like this, among other folks back in Toronto who I could depend on to be there when I’m getting to the edge of my ability to take care of someone else without getting resentful. I don’t really know who here is really up for and interested in getting me out of the house when I’m in a bad mood… it’s so hard to reach a point with someone that I start to feel like I’m not imposing or annoying them.

It’s hard sometimes. I have bad days too, but not as bad as he does. I get into bad moods, but I have to shut them out because we can’t both be miserable at the same time or things just go from bad to worse. Sunday was a bad day for me, mostly because I was annoyed at myself for sleeping in and just felt like crap all day – lonely and weird. His day was worse. It really was. His days have been worse for a while.

I guess this is my payback for not being stable for most of my teens and twenties.

Rockin’ the Shore

I went on a MuddBunnies ride tonight, and totally ROCKED the first trail we rode (Floppy Bunny) and managed quite a lot of stuff that I hadn’t ridden before on the second one, Natural High. I think all the confidence boosting I got riding at Silver Star on the weekend (I still can’t believe how fantastic that was…) has seriously impacted my riding ability in a good way. Somehow I managed to take what I learned with the big bike and not be scared of doing it with my not-so-big bike. It felt great.

Tomorrow we’re going to ride SFU Burnaby Trails.

Also, riding with other ladies is awesome. Oh, and I think I have a new biking userpic to upload. Continue Reading