I feel as though I’m part of something important… but I don’t know exactly what it is. The people around me are important. I’m important. Everything that happens is important. I can’t explain it.
It’s like there are all sorts of pieces to a story, and the people wh drop into my life are part of it too. I wish I could explain this… it’s not that I feel like my life is being directed, although I do take comfort in the feeling that everything will work out for me somehow. I can’t figure out why I believe that, I just do, and I’ve learned to accept it most of the time. That’s why I didn’t panic about my wallet. That’s why I’m not worried about my heart problems. I try to make it so that it’s just the internal things that I worry about now – the things that I have to take care of myself – my own issues.
Maybe I’m lucky, but some of my past might indicate otherwise. I don’t think I believe in luck.
At any rate… I don’t think it’s random chance that causes some people to meet and become friends. It is with a lot of people I meet, but the friendships that last, the ones that feel old, the ones that never seem to fade with time or distance… those are the ones that strike me as something important… pieces falling in to place, people who are there to help, people who don’t run away when you’re in darkness, people who trust you enough to let you help them…
If I wasn’t here, I could write more coherently. Ahh well… at least the concept is there. I’ll try to work on it more later, when I’m alone.